Oh, THE SMITHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My good buddy Matt Sadler has reminded me that The Smiths are the worst band in history, behind Color Me Badd, Poison, and hell, anybody else.

Screw those guys. Really. Fools.

Get Me Some Garlic for the Vampires

I've decided, fools, that I would rather attend a concert where the only act was Christina Aguilera performing a duet with Morrissey featuring The Bare Naked Ladies singing about how George W. Bush's Iraq policy is the greatest advancement in political thought of all time than to have blood drawn from me even one more TIME!

F*ck you, modern science, for not finding a different way to find out if my damn blood sugar is too high. Morons. Ouch.

I Am Going To Kick Morrissey's Ass.

Hate to start the ol' blog thang on a negative tip, but this mofo needs an ass whoopin'. I'm just the man to do it.

I hate Morrissey. I will kick his sorry ass if he ever bothers to walk across my path. Stupid, celibate dumbass. Damn wuss.

Yeah, I know, The Smiths were an important part of your youth. Morrissey and the boys helped you get through the hard times because they knew who you were and the very sound of them brought out emotions you never knew you had. Well, suck it, because he's gonna get a skull bustin' from me.

This is all contingent on Morrissey somehow showing up where I am one day. Unlikely, because I dislike him so much that I usually avoid him at all costs (and oooooo, how lazy I can get when I set my mind to it!). Whenever one of his songs come on, I immediately change the channel (an ability those in favor of censorship should learn to develop) or demand that the channel be changed.

So, Morrissey, kiss my ass. I'm gonna get you, sucka.